A REMINDER TO SELF

 

I've contemplated the thought that relationships are not merely two individuals in love working and growing together. I think when we establish a relationship, be it platonic or romantic, it grows to become a living, breathing entity or a world of its own.

 The love that exists between two people is so profound that it somehow becomes tangible. Their love and admiration, and the intimacy that exists between them breathes life into their shared experiences and is as a cord, binding them. 

It is an absolutely beautiful thing!

I have seen couples that literally look as if they are in their own world. Everyone is nonexistent to them when they are enjoying each other's company; the pure bliss of being together makes everything else secondary. It weaves a cocoon around them and the whole world falls into obscurity. 

 Through their continued efforts, this world of theirs grows. They take care of it by showing up for one another, doing things together, growing, and experiencing life as one soul. The familiarity between them is so profound, they know each other as intimately as one learns and knows their own name.  

When circumstances arise, be what it may, and they must leave each other, this world dies. This living, breathing thing that exists between them suffers a death.  Their souls must be separated, and it is agonizing. It is not a simple matter. The pain of separation is not just the loss of the other person but also a mourning of something that lived and breathed between them. The world that they painstakingly built together has crumbled. The cords that once bound them are cut, and they are left loose. The pain of this loss, as you have experienced, can sometimes seem palpable, cutting straight through you, leaving you raw and open. 

In light of this, you must give yourself time and grace to lament.  Again, it's not just a person you lost; you lost a language that you can no longer speak with anyone; you lost a future with someone that you thought would be endgame. 

So grieve! What lived and died between you two will haunt you perpetually if you do not mourn it, if you do not give it a fitting burial. 

Love left a grievous wound. But it will heal in time. It will become a blurred memory. It will be covered in scar tissue. You will learn to breathe easy again, your heart won't ache with the intensity that it does now. Love will find you again. It will heal you. It is a balm; you will learn this in time. 

And remember, always, always, always have the courage to trust love again. To open your heart and let it in. Despite, despite, despite.